11 July 2007

Cow flatulance just a load of hot air?

"Great news on our greenhouse targets -
we've bred a cow that doesn't release any methane"

I have to say this ... delicately ... but 'cow emissions' are apparently a huge part of global warming. What important news to wake up to this morning. Forget mad Mullahs trying to get the life of Sir Salman Rushdie, don't worry about the war on terror, and who really cares about the despotic rule of Robert Mugabe - we must all be worried, perhaps stricken with fear, at the news that the combined gas output of the world's livestock are in fact responsible for more global warming than all the world's transport systems. Don't blame your neighbours car - it is his love of anything made by or from cows, chickens, sheep, pigs, goats, etc., that is the real problem. We all thought it was a load of bull, but the cows have a secret weapon in their quest for world domination and retribution.



Don't take my word for it, try this Google search and see for yourself! Get guilty about your carbon footprint each time you drink some milk, enjoy a steak, wolf down that KFC fried chicken ... the baaaaaarps from the farmyard are turning up the heat. Be afraid, very afraid!

Funny that I did not hear globe-trotting stars of last weekend's LIVE EARTH concert talking to cows about this? No naming and shaming of any world-famous pigs. I wonder if Al Gore has significantly cut down on his milkshakes, eggs over easy, and celebrity BBQs? My prediction is that within 5 years the main problem will not be global warming but will be how fast can we produce enough Prozac to make all our global warming tree-huggers deal with their 'issues' - caused by having to renounce their friendships with cows and sheep and dogs and little piggies.

5 comments:

Douglas Gilmour said...

That puts Brazil, Argentina and Chile at the top of the worst polluters list! Av. personal beef consumption per annum in Argentina is over 100kg! Here in Chile, it is 75kg. And that's just the average! It will take more than a marisco empanada and vegetable curry to change their tastes and reduce their methane emissions.

Another interesting musing on this issue is that, contrary to widely held views, it is not emissions from the rear of sheep and cattle that we ought to be worrying about but from the front end!

Given school boy habits, should we not be targetting noise pollution rather than methane emissions?

Flame Lilly said...

You always have such interesting things on your blog! It's always fun to read. I esp. enjoy (if you can call it "enjoyment") your entries about Zim!

Mark D Taylor said...

Thanks for the compliment - Mark

Flame Lilly said...

You're welcome! Do you remember my folks at all? Graham & Beulah McGuinness (nee: Smith). They still can't believe what a small world story it was my finding your blog by accident! :)

Mark D Taylor said...

Yes, of course. Please give them my very best regards, hoping thet are well.